Some sessions are going to go places we don’t want them to. When that starts to happen we can hope to be skillful in moving things to the better direction. If we can see early on that we’re not likely to be successful at redirecting attention later, it can be a good idea to pre-establish a
The clarity of our feedback is key. From timing, to amount, to directness and indirectness and so much more, the “correct feedback” matters most in a distressed nervous system full of noise and confusion. We can’t, and shouldn’t, expect ourselves to be perfect. We can hope to continually get closer and clearer at reflecting “the
We’re going to make mistakes. It’s a fact of the complexity of our work. Fortunately, as part of the learning process mistakes are profoundly helpful. Let’s pay attention to them. “There is no such thing as a failed experiment, only experiments with unexpected outcomes” – Richard Buckminster Fuller
Certainly it’s not only so that we’ll give our clients the feeling of being in an interrogation. We ask all those questions for multiple reasons, the most important being that they help us direct attention without telling our clients what to do. This is a borrowed episode from a chapter in my “unofficial” Guide to the
Let’s face it. This stuff is massively complicated. Anyone who is going to get good at it is going to need to experiment and try new things on. You know, risk making mistakes! I think we can do that.